ANDY HOOPER
(With apologies to Sir Mix-a-lot, here is a Rap of Comment on BEAM #6)
I like big zines and I can not lie
You other punters can’t deny
That when the mail comes in with a taste from outer space
And a Rotsler in your face
You get cocked, wanna compose a LoC
‘Cause you notice that zine was chock
full of bad gags and swearing
I’m smooth and I can’t stop sharing
BEAM’s choice in the Novacon fixture
And lots of pictures
Insurgents tried to warn me
But that boo you sling makes me so horny
Ooh, pub that genzine
Push FAAns and TAFF and filk sing
You bruise me, amuse me
Cause you ain’t the average newsie
This BEAM is bouncin’
Fuggheads proudly trouncin’
Its true, works blue,
Got it goin’ on like a WRINKLED SHREW
I’m tired of tiny fanzines
Ensmallment ain’t no thang
Take the average trufan and ask them that
Page counts got to mount
So, Faneds! (Yeah?) Faaneds! (Yeah!)
Has your genzine got the girth? (Hell yeah!)
Tell ’em to List It it! (List it!) LoC it! (LoC it!)
Focal point that zine!
Baby got BEAM!
Aw shucks
We shake that Beam round the place
Then waggle it up in your face
You can’t stop staring
you come out sharing
And dish out the Bu with such grace.
Thanks Andy